I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize