Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
