In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
