I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
