Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
