Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
