five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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