my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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