I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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