about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
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It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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