how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
