She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
