You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
