is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
