I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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