Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
