put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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