i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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