You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
