I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize