wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
