i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
