Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
