My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We are all done wearing pants today
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
