Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Randomize