On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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