I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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