we're blogging at a bar
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
