Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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