I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
