She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
