She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
