Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
