i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
