do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize