I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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