hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she pinky promised me she was 18
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
