'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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