I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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