He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
