Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
