I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize