My sheets look like a crime scene.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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