I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize