Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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