This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
the raccoons are back...
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