conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
