We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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