peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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