just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
is it fun? or sober?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
