No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
