just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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