An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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