Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
