I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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