It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
