you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
