i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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