I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My life is pants optional.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
