is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
