when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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