I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
