Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
