Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
