I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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