I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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