I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
