Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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