Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize