You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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